22_0810 Part of Your World

This song was the song I used to sing along to a casket tape recording when I was in kindergarten age. I recall that I was super crazy about this song and I was singing all the time. I didn’t speak English so I just mimicked the sound. I appreciate my mother let me listen to these songs in English. And I assume my gay gene was already active in my kindergarten age. haha

Later on this song would be a song which resonated my feeling too. My family was… super strict and also they never wanted to socialize with neighbors or anybody. I was a hyper active kid and I ended up recognizing myself begin scolded and punished every single day and it was very violent. The only way I can escape was in the school however, I was too different form others and was not having enough social skill so that it was rough to make a friend. However, in my kindergarten age, I was super optimistic so I was always looking for something interesting and fun. However, starting around 2nd grade or 3rd grade, I started to feel I’m not belonging to the community or I’m alone. I wanted to live like other people live life. So I maybe I was thinking that I wanted to be a part of someone’s life where there’s no violent punishment and cry almost everyday.

Even though I write my family things badly here, I appreciate my family and love them. Scars are scars and they’re still in my heart and I’m trying to overcome them but I know that my parents are the ones who also had a really difficult time too dealing with unusual and strange kid like me.